24 August, 2012

24 August, 2012 shall forever remain etched in my memories. It started off as quite an oridnary day. Woke up at 10 am and being the procrastinator that I am, got up from my bed at 1pm :P

Went for lunch, went for class at 2.30pm - the last Sales Management class of this term. Was quite a good session. And after that came the highlight of the day - the event that had elated my spirits for the past few days - INKtalks Manipal University. Unni and I had volunteered to be a part of the organizing committee - a brilliant, enthusiastic bunch of people! We went to the event and WHAT AN EVENT IT WAS! 5 of the most amazing speakers ever - Anupam Mukerji (the Fake IPL Player), Krushnaa Patil (second youngest Indian to scale the Everest), Charles Ma (Bharatnatyam dancer), Dr. Virender Sangwan (Ophthalmologist) and Vivek Nair(Entrepreneur, Forbes Under 30 Energy List). And the interaction with them after the talk!

Even though I am at an all-time low when my literary skills are concerned, I had to post this! I needed to document this online, as well talk to the world about it! Until I regain my literary genius, this piece remains unfinished and published :P

Magnum opus! Ha! Who am I kidding!

So finally I am writing again. I have no clue where this piece will lead to at the moment, but I sure hope it leads to someplace nice. To begin with, I need to fill the gap between my current post and the previous one. I have been upto, well, all sorts of things! April 11, 2010 was when I last published something (and that too an apology at that). It's time to make amends. I have a lot of unpublished pieces in my drafts folder, but I guess that is for private viewing for now. Actually more than the will to write, I have lost the confidence to post what I write. I am lacking the confidence to release to the entire world, my thoughts (funny thing considering I have never NEVER been low on confidence)! Getting back to the "topic", I have been up to so much since then. Firstly, I graduated in 2011 (finally!). Then I also took admission to study, no, to get a Post Graduate Degree in Management, which is my current endeavour. So currently, all my energies are focussed in successfully attaining the PGDM ( I urge all my future employers to take these 2 lines as a joke. I am merely trying to be funny :P). That is what has happened to me on the education front. On the personal front, life has never been more confusing! I have been continually confused about so many things that my confusion now circles around what my confusions used to be (If you didn't get it, I am trying to be funny, again :P). The past 2 years have been, well, for the lack of a better word or rather words, a roller coaster ride for me. But somehow these two years have been (maybe) two of the best years of my life - from having the time of my life in Bhubaneswar, to having the time of my life now in Manipal, I have had a truly phenomenal time! In this course of time, I have met soooo many people who have left a lasting impression on me. Friends in Bhubaneswar - SG, AM, AA, AM (yes, there are two AMs!), are a few of them. The time I spent with them - well, I shall carry them to my grave (the memories, of course!). And friends in Manipal! What do I tell write about them. It took me sometime to find them, but I have finally found my "gals"( Manipal "gals to be precise. I have my Bhubaneswar "gals" since 7 years now). I love them from the core of my heart! We form a very funny group, and in the words of RH, "we are all so imperfect together, but we are so perfectly matched" (okay, that does not sound right AT ALL , and I am sure I am not quoting her correctly, but you get the point, right!). We are a group of 5 - RH, DA, SB, RR and me. The time we have spent together so far has been crazy. They are the "wall" in my life! They are my co-actresses in the "stage" called Manipal (the references can ONLY be understood by certain people at TAPMI). Apart from them, there are a few others that NEED to be mentioned! MA, AS ( - my first friends in college), DT (this guy is crazy!), the GRS ( as he likes to be called), AR and AR (the gay boys, not really!) , IA( my Veeru) and RT (THE argumentative Indian!). The time I have spent with these people has been really amazing! And at this point, all I can look forward to is spending another year,  optimally ( - a term you become accustomed to using every now and then if you do a PGDM/MBA)!


P.S: This HAD to be written in one paragraph! So sorry for the randomness! I shall take time to raise the standard of my writing!


P.P.S: Thank you for reading it, if you have read it! Else, thank you for increasing my visitor count :P

P.P.P.S: I delivered what I had promised. I started claiming I had no clue where this would end, and it did end rather randomly :P

Reading my very dear friend Shaili's latest post made me realize that I also owe an apology to all those who are gracious enough to read my blog... I am sorry for not updating it time to time... The truth is I am suffering from writer's block (which essentially I suffer through the year, the times when I write are the exceptional times when I don't suffer from it)...

So hereby, I promise to try to make an effort to write a little more than I do now!!!

Ciao!!! Love <3

Today's world...

"Are you freaking serious???" was the only question that came to mind when I heard on radio that some institute(read: coaching classes) was offering a course in which students could prepare for Medical and Engineering from class VIII itself... CLASS EIGHT!!! This is the age we live in... Children being pushed to do well... Children being pushed into starting to think about their careers even before they have an idea about what career is... When I was in class eight, all I could think about was how to pass my exams and which boy/girl liked which girl/boy... Class eight is when children enter their teenage... Aren't kids supposed to enjoy the famous "infamous" phase of our lifetimes??? Agreed that kids nowadays have become much more advanced than what we were in our days... But does it in anyway mean that they have sacrifice their age of "fun and frolic" and concentrate on something that though is an integral part of our life, is not life itself...

Apart from the ad on radio, I also read about a child who committed suicide before the boards started... And the reason, without any doubt, was of course, the fear of the boards... So what is it about the board exams that scares, pardon me for saying it, the shit out of every child??? The boards are not some kind of gigantic monster that will rip your head off, tear you into pieces and then enjoy every piece of meat... It is JUST AN EXAM... Nothing extraordinary about it... I did get the examination blues when I appeared for my boards and did end up faring well... I got an 89% in my 10th boards... And no rewards for guessing the "comments" that I was bombarded with after my results came out... "Just 1% less..."... Yes, 1% less... That is how much I studied and exactly how much I deserve... The fact that 33, yes 33, students in my batch of 180 scored above 90% doesn't mean I got any less... Those were the people who worked hard and got their result... I got what I worked for...

So if someone was sick and could not study for the exam, and ended up doing poorly in it, does it mean that he is an imbecile who does not deserve to live??? NO... Exams are not the end of life... If someone doesn't do well in it, doesn't mean he is not good for anything... And nowadays, its not marks that ONLY matter... You have to have substance to become something in life??? There are millions of people who did not do well in their school exams, yet today they are known world-wide... What would have happened if they had committed suicide or stopped hoping for better things in life???

Everyone says it has become so competitive today... Competition is healthy up to a certain extent... But the very thought of pushing your child into doing something he doesn't even understand due to competition is just complete display of the regard we ought to have for life... If asked to relive any period in my life, I would have to say those days in school when we lived in complete ignorance of the big bad world outside, the absolute careless splendor with which we live... But would the kids who are in school now answer the same??? I don't think so... The school is no different from the world we are exposed to now... Those precious moments in life, when the only thing we had to worry about was the tiffins we'd take, the number of games periods we had are the ones we hold close to our hearts... But now it is entirely different... Nowadays the kids have to worry about are whether or not they are better than their 'friends'...

It saddens me to see the state of things nowadays... Parents pushing their children to do something that they wouldn't even want to do in the first place, children not being able to live the 'childhood' they are entitled to... The world indeed has become a sad place to live in...

How I wish the phone would ring!!!

Again after a hiatus, I write... And this time it is another weak attempt at short story, one which I had written a while ago... Here it goes..

"Its 2:00 am and I am still waiting for the phone to ring. My desperation to hear his voice has reached its zenith. "Why hasn't he called?" is the only thing that I can think of. My mind is forming all the formidable possibilities of the answers to the question where as my heart is hoping these thoughts be proved wrong.

Its 2:30 am now, and he still has not called. Six long hours have passed since we last talked, since we last fought. I want to call him but I fear - I fear that I might enrage him further, push his anger beyond his control. All I can think about now is him. All I can think about all the time is him. His voice is that force, that power that energizes me through the day. He is all that I had ever hoped for, all that I ever wanted. I know it in my heart that I do not deserve him. I can only wish to be good enough for him. But God has been kind enough to gift him to me. And I had messed it up again, as usual. Why did I have to do things to invoke his anger? Why did I have to behave the way I did? Why did I have to be the person I am? Maybe God wants me to realize I am no good for him. I ALREADY KNOW IT. Every single day that has passed since I met him,bears witness to the fact that I do not deserve him. And yet, I am lying here on my bed, unappreciative and waiting, waiting for him to forgive me for my misgivings and accept me and my flaws with open arms. I wish saying sorry would help, but what should I say sorry for - sorry for being the person I am? If I could do anything to mold myself into someone who deserves him, trust me, I would. But I guess wanting is not enough. And anyways it would be such a gargantuan task, that even if I put in Herculean effort all through my life, I would not succeed.
Therefore all I can do is wait..."

Life, as I see it...

Life is not perfect... Every single person on Earth knows that (excepting kids, of course)... But why can it not be close to perfect??? Why does everyone have to go through a lot of crap in life??? Why do problems haunt everyone's life??? Is it to teach us petty human beings a lesson - a lesson that we cannot have everything served to us on a golden platter??? Granted, hardships in life are those inseparable parts of life which lead us to be what we are... But why do hardships have to be so bloody hard???

Every relationship shared by two persons faces its own ups and downs... But are the downs the end of life??? No, they are not... We feel extremely helpless when we are faced with the downs in our lives... But should these downs come in the way of the ups as well... It is not easy to forget, but won't forgetting the downs help everyone??? Well, I face a lot of turmoil when these downs happen to me... What am I supposed to do??? Cry and let fate take control over my life??? Or get my ass down and do something to change it??? But that is not enough... To take a stand and try to change the downs would involve other people's feelings as well... Do they want a change or do they want fate to take control??? If someone you care deeply about is hurt by your actions, you are supposed to change the action... Undoing it is impossible, so not repeating it is the best option... But here comes the next question, should you or should you not change yourself, let go off yourself in order to satisfy the other important people in your life... These questions baffle me all the time... Our future is the consequence of our present actions... So the present action is the most imporant thing in life... Setting your present well would secure your future... Life is not a straight and smooth highway... It is like a maze or a network of roads... Some of them might be smooth, some might not... All the roads lead to different destinations... It is your call to choose the road of life, and reach the destination...

Phooo!!!

After a long long long long..... long hiatus, I strike again... Back without a bang, but with a lot of words about my life... It has been a hell of a time... Last time I wrote was when I left my previous college, to join a new college... An apprehensive me had turned to blogging to find solace... And that 'apprehensive' me has turned into a very 'confident' me...

It has been 3 months since I took the shift back... I joined the new college... Though I had two friends in the college, the first day in my class I was met with stares - ranging from cold to inquisitive... I am a person who adapts to change very easily... So settling down was not an issue for me... I actually became very comfortable within the first few days... And the two friends of mine - A and S - did prove to be blessing in disguise... Within a short span of time, I made a lot of friends... And now we have a very close group in college... Apart from friends, studies are going fine... The teachers are decent enough but have weird accents... So giggling in the class at wrong pronunciations have become a part and parcel of classroom fun... And then there are these weird people in my class, who for some reason, cannot just stop discussing other people, who are not even related to them... Personally I get a lot of stares in the class... They look up to me as some kind of alien... So things at my new college are awesome...


On the other hand, the 'thing' that I was actually excited about - my friends of 5-6 years being here... My anticipation was mulled by the behavior I have been getting... None of my old friends except for L bother to keep in touch... And every time their ****ed up explanation is that they are too busy...

The worst part is that me and my mum are back to fighting the Word War... Every morning is spent in battling it out in words... The end is brought about by whoever gets to speak louder!!!

So the best things/people in my life currently are S,L and A and Bruno... :)