My first attempt at fiction, after reading numerous creative pieces by fellow bloggers!
She lay on the edge of the bed, facing the wall - thinking what went wrong and when...
He lay on the other side, having the same thoughts...
Both of them wanted the same thing - the warmth of each other's bodies close to them... A smug hug while wading away to the land of blissful dreams... But both of them were egoistic to an extent not to accept the truth...
Somewhere in the background, a marriage was proceeding with the loud music and jest of all the guests... They remembered how happy they had been on their marriage and afterwards... The honeymoon in Italy, the stealing kisses at their folk's place... How they longed for it!
And then suddenly, crash came the window of the next room... Both of them were startled and got up... He asked her to stay and went to inspect with a vase in his hand... He returned shortly and said there was nothing... That was it... That was enough to make them realise their folly... Both embraced each other lovingly, and looked at each other... Their eyes said it all...
It is my first story... Please leave a comment and let me know how you did not/did like it!!! :)
28 comments:
ms goody goody mushy mushy stuff
why dont try some 55 fiction
the way u write u will surely be good at it
i have trouble rounding off my scrips sometime
gr8 goin
why dont add this to ur story
lyin on each side of bed
reading faces left thoughts unread
an year long promise to give it all
i still wait for u to embrace my soul
i watch the ceiling at night when u sleep
wonderin if i am there in the dreams you keep
not to disturb i toss around
whispering i love you wishing you could make my sound
my heart wrenches when i watch u watchin that ceiling
i feel a silent fear from that unknown feeling
i search your hand to embrace
but all i watch from the window is night peeling
well i was overwhelmed when i wrote this i wanted to continue but couldn't
u write wonderfully!!!
oh my god!!!
adulations!
neways the inspiration lies above
so hats off to ya
well this is the first time i left a poem half done
but u r an artist as well so it does needs ur help
neways
though it looks good half done too
their is a beauty of its own when its not complete
continued...
....search your hand to embrace
but all i watch from the window is night peeling...
Pictures on the wall show me how time flies
to ease my soul i close my tear filled eyes
and i turn around to catch your glimpse
my heart skipped a beat when i saw my love triumph
then they kept on staring
hands on each other's face...caring
she wiped her tears ans he kissed hers away
their eyes said it all letting the time sway
i wrote a so long whea is it gone
this internet sux
i continued the poem but i lost it
i think it is destined to be incomplete
this is soooooo awesome!!!
Oh my god... oh my god!!!
You are one of the best poets I have ever read!!!
wohh
twas not deleted
m so HAPPY
well i am flattered like anything
* brings his feet on ground*
may be u are reading poetry for the first time
Sorrry to interrupt the beautiful literary session..But had to say just one word "Briliant" to both of u!
thanks preposterous girl :D
Hey girlie :) Good job at your first attempt! Fiction is always a tough one to tackle, but I like the style you have going!
And as for Mister Poet Manque...wow. Very well written!
Psst, I did a vector of Paul Walker! Haha and surprisingly didn't faint in between :P <3
Hey. I have something for u..check it out http://tinyurl.com/rab6fr
how about u continue the story and i will carry on the rhyme?
story was cool,i think u must elaborate it still more
@ Archana:
Thanks!!!
I saw the Paul Walker one and it took by breath away!!! I like, I like!!! I love him *doe eyed*
@ Preposterous Girl:
Thanks a million for the award... You made me smile :)
@ Poet Manque:
Why do you always scare me :P ???
I will surely do so, just need a little time to get into my creative moods...
@Sathana:
I agree with you... I need to elaborate... I hope to do a better job when i sit editing it again and also taking the story further...
@ All of you:
Thank you for your ever precious comments... Makes my day and also provides me with useful insights!!!
do i scare u?
i knw m a freak but din shw my devil side
neways will be waitin juzt a clik away
awaits maanque
and why din ya add me on facebook?
now that scares me duh!
I will... wait lemme log on fb!!
sweet...get going on fiction again...
was there a peeping tom outside the window?
nice work here for a first timer...
doesnt matter if it was the first time.. as long as you guide the reader till the end of the post like you did with this one, you are always a professional...
cheers to the fiction work
chronicwriter
hmm nice, sweet and short :)
by the way, after the first couple of lines, i thought to myself- hmm, mills and boon :P
thank god, u proved me rong at the end of it all.
Thanks all!!!
wow gr8
lovely....i like the way u write
nice job and nice post....like ur blog
मेरी कलम - मेरी अभिव्यक्ति
purely awesome work.
should try more inspirational writing(fictional).
Yours is one of the few blogs which motivated me to join blogspot.
@ Anil:
Thank you!!
@ Sibashish:
I am honoured!!! And thank you!!!
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