How I wish the phone would ring!!!

Again after a hiatus, I write... And this time it is another weak attempt at short story, one which I had written a while ago... Here it goes..

"Its 2:00 am and I am still waiting for the phone to ring. My desperation to hear his voice has reached its zenith. "Why hasn't he called?" is the only thing that I can think of. My mind is forming all the formidable possibilities of the answers to the question where as my heart is hoping these thoughts be proved wrong.

Its 2:30 am now, and he still has not called. Six long hours have passed since we last talked, since we last fought. I want to call him but I fear - I fear that I might enrage him further, push his anger beyond his control. All I can think about now is him. All I can think about all the time is him. His voice is that force, that power that energizes me through the day. He is all that I had ever hoped for, all that I ever wanted. I know it in my heart that I do not deserve him. I can only wish to be good enough for him. But God has been kind enough to gift him to me. And I had messed it up again, as usual. Why did I have to do things to invoke his anger? Why did I have to behave the way I did? Why did I have to be the person I am? Maybe God wants me to realize I am no good for him. I ALREADY KNOW IT. Every single day that has passed since I met him,bears witness to the fact that I do not deserve him. And yet, I am lying here on my bed, unappreciative and waiting, waiting for him to forgive me for my misgivings and accept me and my flaws with open arms. I wish saying sorry would help, but what should I say sorry for - sorry for being the person I am? If I could do anything to mold myself into someone who deserves him, trust me, I would. But I guess wanting is not enough. And anyways it would be such a gargantuan task, that even if I put in Herculean effort all through my life, I would not succeed.
Therefore all I can do is wait..."