Jan 22, 2010

How I wish the phone would ring!!!

Again after a hiatus, I write... And this time it is another weak attempt at short story, one which I had written a while ago... Here it goes..

"Its 2:00 am and I am still waiting for the phone to ring. My desperation to hear his voice has reached its zenith. "Why hasn't he called?" is the only thing that I can think of. My mind is forming all the formidable possibilities of the answers to the question where as my heart is hoping these thoughts be proved wrong.

Its 2:30 am now, and he still has not called. Six long hours have passed since we last talked, since we last fought. I want to call him but I fear - I fear that I might enrage him further, push his anger beyond his control. All I can think about now is him. All I can think about all the time is him. His voice is that force, that power that energizes me through the day. He is all that I had ever hoped for, all that I ever wanted. I know it in my heart that I do not deserve him. I can only wish to be good enough for him. But God has been kind enough to gift him to me. And I had messed it up again, as usual. Why did I have to do things to invoke his anger? Why did I have to behave the way I did? Why did I have to be the person I am? Maybe God wants me to realize I am no good for him. I ALREADY KNOW IT. Every single day that has passed since I met him,bears witness to the fact that I do not deserve him. And yet, I am lying here on my bed, unappreciative and waiting, waiting for him to forgive me for my misgivings and accept me and my flaws with open arms. I wish saying sorry would help, but what should I say sorry for - sorry for being the person I am? If I could do anything to mold myself into someone who deserves him, trust me, I would. But I guess wanting is not enough. And anyways it would be such a gargantuan task, that even if I put in Herculean effort all through my life, I would not succeed.
Therefore all I can do is wait..."

12 comments:

The Juggernaut said...

so true... =) the wait

hope he called

Roo....!!!! said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Roo....!!!! said...

Hiii...!!! Neerja, it was my 1st expreance of blogging,im a stranger but after going through ur blog i feel connected..!! I wish,wht ur waiting 4r will be urs,,,!! and i believe till now,He hav called u..!!!

Dazed by the Light I See... said...

Bhanu:
It was fiction swthrt!!!

Roo...!!!
Thanks... And its fiction!!!

~~Eternal Paradox~~ said...

maybe i recognize the teeny bit of fact in the fiction. but wow wow wow.. brilliant writing! :) love you nan..

Dazed by the Light I See... said...

Hehe Asmita!!!
Thanks a lot... :D

Roo....!!!! said...

so gr8 copy yaar...!!

Naina Sethi said...

Interesting story. You have talent :).
I am a fashion writer and think that you should definitely follow me blog.
enrapturenow.blogspot.com

Dazed by the Light I See... said...

Thank you Naina!!!

dinesh said...

as a beginner it is good but da vocabulary used seems a bit forceful as if u wanted to some how fit in those words and a bit boring read..

Shaili said...

ouch! :) it's fiction but i can so relate to it... we all go thru it, dont we? i did... check this out http://shaili87.blogspot.com/2009/01/when-love-calls.html
and Happy Valentine's Day Neerja.. wish u cud mk it to the college annual day :)

Dazed by the Light I See... said...

@ Shaili:
Yeah... :)

It happens to all girls, yes...

And belated Happy Valentine's Day... I really wished I was there as well...