How I wish the phone would ring!!!

Again after a hiatus, I write... And this time it is another weak attempt at short story, one which I had written a while ago... Here it goes..

"Its 2:00 am and I am still waiting for the phone to ring. My desperation to hear his voice has reached its zenith. "Why hasn't he called?" is the only thing that I can think of. My mind is forming all the formidable possibilities of the answers to the question where as my heart is hoping these thoughts be proved wrong.

Its 2:30 am now, and he still has not called. Six long hours have passed since we last talked, since we last fought. I want to call him but I fear - I fear that I might enrage him further, push his anger beyond his control. All I can think about now is him. All I can think about all the time is him. His voice is that force, that power that energizes me through the day. He is all that I had ever hoped for, all that I ever wanted. I know it in my heart that I do not deserve him. I can only wish to be good enough for him. But God has been kind enough to gift him to me. And I had messed it up again, as usual. Why did I have to do things to invoke his anger? Why did I have to behave the way I did? Why did I have to be the person I am? Maybe God wants me to realize I am no good for him. I ALREADY KNOW IT. Every single day that has passed since I met him,bears witness to the fact that I do not deserve him. And yet, I am lying here on my bed, unappreciative and waiting, waiting for him to forgive me for my misgivings and accept me and my flaws with open arms. I wish saying sorry would help, but what should I say sorry for - sorry for being the person I am? If I could do anything to mold myself into someone who deserves him, trust me, I would. But I guess wanting is not enough. And anyways it would be such a gargantuan task, that even if I put in Herculean effort all through my life, I would not succeed.
Therefore all I can do is wait..."

Life, as I see it...

Life is not perfect... Every single person on Earth knows that (excepting kids, of course)... But why can it not be close to perfect??? Why does everyone have to go through a lot of crap in life??? Why do problems haunt everyone's life??? Is it to teach us petty human beings a lesson - a lesson that we cannot have everything served to us on a golden platter??? Granted, hardships in life are those inseparable parts of life which lead us to be what we are... But why do hardships have to be so bloody hard???

Every relationship shared by two persons faces its own ups and downs... But are the downs the end of life??? No, they are not... We feel extremely helpless when we are faced with the downs in our lives... But should these downs come in the way of the ups as well... It is not easy to forget, but won't forgetting the downs help everyone??? Well, I face a lot of turmoil when these downs happen to me... What am I supposed to do??? Cry and let fate take control over my life??? Or get my ass down and do something to change it??? But that is not enough... To take a stand and try to change the downs would involve other people's feelings as well... Do they want a change or do they want fate to take control??? If someone you care deeply about is hurt by your actions, you are supposed to change the action... Undoing it is impossible, so not repeating it is the best option... But here comes the next question, should you or should you not change yourself, let go off yourself in order to satisfy the other important people in your life... These questions baffle me all the time... Our future is the consequence of our present actions... So the present action is the most imporant thing in life... Setting your present well would secure your future... Life is not a straight and smooth highway... It is like a maze or a network of roads... Some of them might be smooth, some might not... All the roads lead to different destinations... It is your call to choose the road of life, and reach the destination...

Phooo!!!

After a long long long long..... long hiatus, I strike again... Back without a bang, but with a lot of words about my life... It has been a hell of a time... Last time I wrote was when I left my previous college, to join a new college... An apprehensive me had turned to blogging to find solace... And that 'apprehensive' me has turned into a very 'confident' me...

It has been 3 months since I took the shift back... I joined the new college... Though I had two friends in the college, the first day in my class I was met with stares - ranging from cold to inquisitive... I am a person who adapts to change very easily... So settling down was not an issue for me... I actually became very comfortable within the first few days... And the two friends of mine - A and S - did prove to be blessing in disguise... Within a short span of time, I made a lot of friends... And now we have a very close group in college... Apart from friends, studies are going fine... The teachers are decent enough but have weird accents... So giggling in the class at wrong pronunciations have become a part and parcel of classroom fun... And then there are these weird people in my class, who for some reason, cannot just stop discussing other people, who are not even related to them... Personally I get a lot of stares in the class... They look up to me as some kind of alien... So things at my new college are awesome...


On the other hand, the 'thing' that I was actually excited about - my friends of 5-6 years being here... My anticipation was mulled by the behavior I have been getting... None of my old friends except for L bother to keep in touch... And every time their ****ed up explanation is that they are too busy...

The worst part is that me and my mum are back to fighting the Word War... Every morning is spent in battling it out in words... The end is brought about by whoever gets to speak louder!!!

So the best things/people in my life currently are S,L and A and Bruno... :)

Last Days...

It is one of my last days here... A bout of nostalgia is what I am feeling... On one hand, there is the excitement of going back, back to my roots, back to where I belong, back to friends who have been there most my life... But on the other hand, there are these great bunch of friends I have made here... I know separations are difficult and the thought of never being able to meet haunting, but that is how life is... Nothing is certain... Any one moment can turn the direction of your life by 180 degrees...

I am hoping everything happens smoothly and my friends here, my love for all of whom I cannot express, live happily... That is all I can wish for... It is very difficult to find people who genuinely care for you but here it was not rare, it was on the contrary very easy... I can count about 50+ people who do care for me deeply and who I also care for... I wish them well in life...

Lets see where life takes me...



P.S:This is a felt-and-wrote piece... So standard certainly ain't very good...

'PERFECT'

It was a perfect day, in every sense of the word. And also a day of many firsts. Today, it rained heavily here for the very first time this year. And today, for the first time ever, I got drenched in the rain - intentionally. And also wished my friend Dev 'a very Happy Birthday' for the very first time. And these lines are the summary of this whole piece. So if you are not in a hurry, continue reading. But I must warn you that you might find the use of the word 'perfect' redundant :) And for those who are in a hurry, don't read further, the following is the stupid elongated version of the two sentences above!

Today started with me waking up late, taking a quick bath and skipping breakfast! The weather was close to PERFECT and I was singing on my way to college, in careless splendour. The song I was singing was "Jab bhi koi ladki dekhun mera dil deewana bole ole ole ole" (translated to English: Whenever I see a girl, my crazy heart says ole ole ole). I do not understand the reason, but I did remember the song and was singing it :)
Anyways I was late for class and after being allowed in, I was back to my favourite activity - thinking and doodling. It was 'perfect' 'cause no teacher caught me day-dreaming. As the day proceeded, the weather became better than 'perfect'. It ultimately started raining - heavily. Since the day I came back, it had not rained even once. And finally it did today! I got wet and it felt good. But I quickly went into my friend's place and dried myself. It had been a few moments when I was lazing that three other friends dropped by and forced me into getting out and taking a walk in the rain. I shrugged but they being the 'perfect' marketeers convinced me to get and walk to the nearest chaiwala for a steaming hot cup of tea. And after the initial shock of my foot getting stuck in the mud and being knee-deep in all the dirty water, it actually became fun. After than wonderfully 'perfect' time that I had, I drove back home which was even more fun. The reasons being the roads were converted to huge ponds of water and driving on those roads felt like crossing the oceans (duh!). Secondly it is really funny to see what the rain does to guys. Its like the pouring rain unleashes all the hormones that they have. The guys were actually whistling and singing - neither talents that I have witnessed earlier. It made me smile though :D
I reached home safely and scrubbed myself with Dettol, lest I catch some kind of skin infection.

All in all, it was actually one of the best days of my life. And with this I intend to sign out :)

The eyes say it all...

My first attempt at fiction, after reading numerous creative pieces by fellow bloggers!

She lay on the edge of the bed, facing the wall - thinking what went wrong and when...

He lay on the other side, having the same thoughts...

Both of them wanted the same thing - the warmth of each other's bodies close to them... A smug hug while wading away to the land of blissful dreams... But both of them were egoistic to an extent not to accept the truth...

Somewhere in the background, a marriage was proceeding with the loud music and jest of all the guests... They remembered how happy they had been on their marriage and afterwards... The honeymoon in Italy, the stealing kisses at their folk's place... How they longed for it!

And then suddenly, crash came the window of the next room... Both of them were startled and got up... He asked her to stay and went to inspect with a vase in his hand... He returned shortly and said there was nothing... That was it... That was enough to make them realise their folly... Both embraced each other lovingly, and looked at each other... Their eyes said it all... 

It is my first story... Please leave a comment and let me know how you did not/did like it!!! :)

Ahh... Summer...

Rain rain come again : these four words seem to be on every one's lips nowadays... It had rained a couple of days back but has not brought any respite... The wretched inland temperate zone weather.. No wonder the heat has claimed more than 40 lives... Air Conditioners are modes of temporary relief : the moment you step out, you are hit by the heat - not less, but more intense... And what about the millions of people who are not privileged enough to own an A.C... The heat is not going to decrease with the complaining... The key word here is Global Warming.... (for extensive reading on Global Warming, refer to Wikipedia ...)

A small effort on every one's part can converge into a behemothic effort by the entire world... Small things like switching off the lights, switching off the engine at signals, closing taps, etc. etc. is all that it takes... I remember being the only one, not only in my hostel,  but also in the entire locality to observe The Earth Hour -  which involved an hour of minimum or no current usage... Such audacity will not lead us anywhere but to our graves...

Written in public interest after a hot, sleepless night with low voltage!