It was a long night. I have been up since 10 hours and been doing nothing but downloading songs, randomly. And between checking the songs and downloading pictures of Paris at night, I have been through a lot of thoughts, which like the songs were random. I opened Wikipedia and read about London, thereby leading to the following links one by one(I do not remember perfectly well though):-

• The London Eye
• A few other ferris wheels all over the world
• The tallest buildings on Earth
• The Eiffel Tower
• Paris
  

And it was at Paris that I was stuck. Of late I seem to have been reading/seeing about Paris a lot. First, I read "Dancing on a Rainbow" by Barbara Cartland in which the protagonist escapes to Paris to 'check out' the guy arranged by her father for her marriage. An

d I am a die-hard romantic.

 The description of Paris totally blew me off. Secondly, I satiated myself with the sights of Paris in the movie 'The Devil wears Prada'. Thirdly, my best friend Tulika told me about her grandfather's life as as student in Paris. And many more such instances where Paris keeps coming into the picture. 

The word Paris keeps playing in my sub-conscious mind. And now I have become really desperate to go to Paris, which totally seems impossible to me in the near future. 

But Paris is not really what this post is about. I want to write down about many 'weird' changes I am going through. As a kid and a teenager, I have never shied away from attention. In fact, I believe I suffer from an insane Attention Seeking problem. But I have noticed since a few days I like retreating to my room in the hostel( which was one of the places I hated being at before a month back). I like sitting all by myself, reading a book or surfing the internet, avoiding human contact and conversations as much as possible. In fact, I hesitate to go out even when my close friends here call me. Its as if I am turning into an oyster or something, just trapping myself in a shell, except it is intentional. I am at the threshold of the 21st year of my life(I will be completing 20 years of my existence in May)...*Sob sob*... I have been through a lot of ups and downs in life, but never had I been so bent upon alienating myself from the entire world. My friends think I am crazy(which I agree I am). But the fact that they look down upon rather than appreciating it is what is making me this way I guess...

Well I am just waiting for the next 10 days after which I will enjoy my blissful reunion with my Bruno. This is a photo of my baby Bruno:-